Hi. I’m Sharniie. And Struggle.

This posts is from a talk I gave to some awesome ladies at a ladies night our church had a few months back. I have edited it, and taken out *Majority* of it, cause it’s pretty dang long. If you would like the full, unedited version, email me @ newlittlewife@hotmail.com. I’d be happy to supply it.

For now, read away. Hope it encourages you in some small way today.

img_6775

 

Hi.

My name is Sharniie.

I’m short and loud and I love My God, My Savior Jesus , my Husband, people and tea.

Looking at at my life you may well think that I have it all together. That I have some fairytale you dont.

I’m happily married to an awesome guy, look “healthy”, have a nice little house, friends and always seem to be happy.

 

Here’s the thing you might not know.

There is a lot of stuff I don’t talk about, you don’t know about and that you don’t see.

Stuff that makes me feel guilty, ashamed, scared, and hurt. Stuff i’m afraid to say or admit.

Things like Hurt, grief, body issues, insecurities, a mile long list of health issues, jealousy, depression, doubt, fear, breakups, bad choices, anxiety, marriage struggles,shame, faithless moments and screams at God and honestly, a few too many moments in which I simply didn’t believe He was there at all.

I have felt so alone more days than I want to think about.

I have always struggled with fitting in, finding my place and being the person I am.

I can get anxious easy. I find it hard to trust God with things, and sometimes I just get way to overwhelmed.

A lot of these can come in the same days and weeks, many do.

Here’s the real problem though;

When someone asks me how I’m going, I smile and say good.

I move on past & pretend I don’t struggle.

That I have it all togther, I don’t sin, or rather I dont have any problems.

I don’t say that I cried all day thursday about the choices I made when I was young.

I don’t tell them about the things that one person said a while ago I’m still upset about, or the fact that I am feeling a million miles away from God, and I simply don’t know how to get back.

Can I say something? 

Please, for the love, Let’s stop this madness.

Lay down that mask, because I for one am done pretending.

I want to make it out of this life happy, in one piece, and in the Kingdom of God.

And the only way i’m going to is if I am real.

Super super real. And I want people walking with me that are the same way.

So let’s get real

Let’s talk about the things that matter.

Let’s be open and honest. I dont want to be silent any longer.

You know what? I can almost guarantee that something on that list stood out to you?

Why?

Well because you are struggling too.

I think all of us are. We all have these things, these deep deep down afraid to admit things.

We think we are the only ones, that we have too much baggage, we are too much to handle, or that admitting these things will bring shame and isolation and so we stay silent.

We don’t really realize that, if we all took off our masks together, we would see we aren’t alone, there is freedom and grace.

God’s not stupid guys, There is a big reason He put’s us together, into families and churches and places. He knows we need each other.

And an even bigger thing God  knows *and maybe you need to know too* is this; 

YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH.

You there, with your issues, and your baggages, and you struggles and failings and sins. You are not to much.

I spend way to many minutes thinking that I have to fix this mess. That God COULD NOT POSSIBLY HANDLE  my mud.

I know. I’m stupid.

Cause, you know, a God who made the world, who raises people from the dead, who tells the seas were to go, holds the stars in His hands and breathes things into life..

Well, I’m pretty sure He’s GOT THIS KIDS.

And then sometimes I think that I’m not enough. That somehow I am lacking, God doesn’t need me.

He doesn’t want me, and somehow I’m just too small.

Again, A God who planned, from the very beginning of the world, to set a plan in motion, which ended in His only, perfect Son nailed to a cross, just to win back MY little heart, reminds me that I am not too small.

To think that God looked at this world, and stopped, and thought “This world.. well.. it needs a Sharniie” brings me to a stand still.

 

And He did that.

With each and every one of us.

Please think about this.

Who do you think you are?

Deep down, when you think about you, who do you think you are?

And what makes you.. you?

And then think about who made you, and just dwell in that space for a while.

And when you’re feeling lost, uncertain, too hurt and fragile, too far away, and so so alone.

When your feeling like you have to much baggage, like your too much for anyone, or you’re so so small… 

Go back to that.

And start again.

Who Am I?

Who Made Me?

Who is He?

Who am I to Him?

 

So Hi.

My name is Sharniie. 

I’m short and loud. I love My God, My Savior Jesus, my Husband, people and tea.

I know that God made me. He loves me, forgives me and showers me in Grace.

He is the creator of the universe. He is SO big SO mighty and SO strong. He is Love. He is Grace and HE IS GOOD.

I am His daughter and I am precious to Him. I mean so much to Him that He looked away while His only Son hung on a cross just to save me.

My God wants me in eternity with Him and He works, everyday, to get me there. He loves me, depsite the fact I fail him everyday.

And I pray that when His Son comes, He can stand up and say to me. You have fought the fight, you have kept the faith, you have endured till the end. Come, Live with me forever.
My friend, my fighter, my servant, my faithful sister.
Even So Come.
Love,
New Little *Not-Perfect* Wife

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankfulness + Bad weeks + The body of Christ.

 

This week I have been thankful.

Not that things have been going super well for us.

In all honesty, It’s been a rough two weeks;

The car broke down. Twice.

I lost my wedding rings.

Seth broke two toes.

My phone started dyeing.

I got a stomach virus.

The list could go on. It’s been a busy, crazy kinda fornight.

I’m not saying this all so you can join in misery with me. *Altho losing those rings is still a little raw!*

I’m saying this beacuse thankfulness was not at all what I was thinking I would be feeling at this time.

But somehow, last night, laying in bed, I just was happy and thankful.

Thankful because when our car broke down, we had some many people stop and help us.

Thankful that we have a loving family who helps fix things, takes us round town when we need it and dosent mind us lounging around their house.

Thankful for a Husband and marriage that is strong and loving, even when life is crazy.

Thankful for a body that is learning how to fight well.

Thankful for friends who offer up cars and houses and help.

Thankful for food and a house, knowing that most people don’t even have that, let alone cars and rings and phones.

I always used to think how amazing it would be to live in the time of the Acts. 

To have all things in common, to be together and in community.

And last night it hit me; We still live like that.

Ok, maybe not in each others houses 24/7.

But how many times has someone loaned you their car or helped you out with something?

How many times has someone sent a card or dropped a meal around?

Offered to take you shopping or look after you kids?

What about times people have prayed and prayed for you?

Or just simply dropped by for a chat and time together?

It’s not the same, and it busier and more spread out, but the body of Christ is still moving and working. And I for one am so so thankful.

That list is mostly things.

Rings and cars and phones and the like, and it’s funny that this should be happening this month, while doing my August Simplicity Challenge, because one thing I am really really learning is that possessions don’t matter. 

At all.

People do.

People are what matter most.

Above jobs and cars and money and things.

People are what stay. All the rest is temporary.

So love your people. Love them well. 

Grow and love and help people. Be active in your community.

I’m so amazed, although I shouldn’t be, at this brilliant body.

There are hands that reach out and feet that move, hearts that love and tongues that speak words of love, help and honesty.

And a Head that is beautiful. That leads and loves and is like no other.

I’m so thankful for this wonderful community, that loves oh so well, and A Head that I hope to meet soon. 

In the mean time, lets keep loving, keeping moving, keep shinning the light, and keep helping people broken down on the road;)

Love,

New Little *Thankful* Wife

Lukewarm.

I am so nervous about posting this. I have never been so scared or worried about posting anything in my life. But I’m going to, because I think I need to.
These thoughts have been running around my head for weeks and weeks. They haven’t relented. And I need to say them. I have written and re written this so many times.
This is by no means an attack, a judgement of anyone. And I am mainly writing this for myself, because I know this is something I struggle with. And maybe you do too.. Please read to the very very end before commenting. Thank you. 

I like tea. A lot. Give me black tea, ice tea, hot tea, green tea, strong tea, herbal tea. I’ll take it.

Just don’t ever give me lukewarm.

I hate lukewarm.

Jesus feels the same way.

Maybe not about tea, I don’t actually know about that.

He feels that way about His friends, His followers, His body.

There is a passage in scripture that makes me sit up. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

It’s in Revelation.

I know, Revelation is full of demons and vials and plagues and beasts. There is a lot of stuff to be kinda worried about in there, but it’s not one of those.

It’s chapters 2 & 3. Maybe another day I’ll talk about the whole of those chapters and what goes on in them, but today we are just talking about one bit.

Chapter 3 from v 15.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 

This passage scares me. More than anything else in this book.

Jesus is speaking to the church at Laodecia and he has something to say.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Let’s just stop there.

Stop and read that. Just actually think about what is being said here.

Now think about this.

Is this, right here, talking about you?

Are you a lukewarm christian?

Would you want Jesus to say that verse to you?

If I am honest, truly deep down honest..

I am so very often lukewarm.

I’ll get hot sometimes, when I’m feeling close to God, when I feel like I’m walking well with Jesus, after a conference or a study weekend.

But I spend a lot of time in the lukewarm zone. Somewhere in the middle.

That is the very very worst place to be.

And that’s not something I said.

That’s what Jesus tells us.

He hates us being in that place. So much so he spits us out.

So much so that he says it’s better to be cold.

It’s better to be stone cold than be lukewarm.

Better that we didn’t claim to be christians.

That we didn’t give a half hearted attempt.

You see, he wants all of us. Every bit.

Not just our minds, our Sundays, $100 or a spare hour on Wednesday. He isn’t after half hearted, half baked followers.

He wants all in. He wants crazy about him, willing to leave all, staying til the last breathe people.

Wow.

Here’s the thing though, we are talking about lukewarm people. 

Not cold ones, not hot ones, lukewarm.

And this is where it gets tricky because we have gone beyond simply knowing.

Beyond the basics.

Its not “ have we heard about or read the bible” anymore.

It’s how often do you read it? And do you read because you LOVE to… or to check it off?

We aren’t at the stage where we are being introduced to the idea of praying. We are christians. We KNOW how to pray.

But do we?

Something I am always thinking about is this:

Am I truly giving him my all or just my leftovers?

There are so many areas of my life that I claim to be hot in that Jesus begs to differ on. 

If you continue to read down that chapter, Jesus goes on.

Do you see what is happening that Jesus is trying to tell them, and us, about?

We think we are good, I mean look at us!

We are rich, we have friends, we have security, we have everything we need.  We ‘know’ Jesus, we have all we need.

Not knowing that we are actually horrible, poor, naked and lukewarm.

We think we have all the good stuff. Life is going well. Blessing upon blessing. Possession upon possession.

And we have become more pitiable. More tepid. More blind to our temperature.

And Jesus has slipped further and further down our priority list.

And he tries, oh how he tries, to tell us.

He counsels us to change. To head his voice, to choose a side.

To buy clothes of white.

To make us clean and whole and on fire for Him.

And yet…

How happy we are in our little lukewarm life. 

To me, it’s not worth it. It’s simply not worth losing eternity for something as small as this.

When I picture myself there, face to face with him. I would be devastated.. actually no.. there is not a single word I could use to describe the feeling I would have if He said something like that to me.

“Oh Sharniie. How I tried. How I called you and begged you to change.

To become hot.

To see what I was trying to do.

I tried to clothe you, to heal you.

But you just didn’t listen. And you just sat in your lukewarm water with your lukewarm ways.

You just let me slip so so far down your list of things to do.”

Now, I pray I never have to ever hear those words, and that you would never have to hear them either.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am in no way suggesting we should be motivated by fear to do the right thing, or that we simply become robots and check every box.
Because fear is the worst motivator ever.
And that is NOT what he wants. 

What makes us hot is our love.

Our absolute love and joy for our God, and our striving to be like His son.

It’s our pure and childlike faith and our wanting to obey.

And we show love to God & His Son by loving each other. 

It’s simple really.

He tells us so. It comes down to this…

Love God. Love People.

Cultivate that love, grow that fire. Swim out of the lukewarm zone.

You know your life, your struggles and your lukewarm areas.

Take some time to asses them, to see them, to repair them.

Make sure that you’re not just talking, walking and preaching Jesus, but that you are hot, on fire for him.

Because he stands at the door, and he knocks.

He knocks hard.

This passage has a happy ending. Praise Him!

There is grace. There is love. There is mercy.

We need not be afraid or fear. He shows us what to do and gives us hope.

If we hear, and repent, and open up to him…

He WILL come to us and eat with us.

He WILL grant us to sit with HIM on HIS throne, just as he sat down at HIS FATHER’S throne.

Wow.

What a beautiful picture. What a sure promise.

I have ears Lord, so I WILL listen.

 

 

Love,

 New Little *Luke-warm-but-trying-to-be-hot* Wife

Some Sunday’s..

Some Sunday’s I don’t want to go to church. Gasp.

Yep. I said it.

And I’m not even talking about the ones where I am sick, have to work or away for some reason.

Im talking about the Sundays that I wake up and think..

Im too tired..

I had a falling out with THAT person and I don’t really want to see them..

I Just don’t really get anything out of it..

I dont really like the person giving the talk today..

I just need space..

Do you ever feel like that? When you just feel like you CANT.

Heres the funny thing.

The sunday’s I go, after having thought like these.. I am ALWAYS glad that I went. I come away feeling better.. Still maybe tired.. And sometimes a little more frazzled.. But better..

There is joy and a “special” kind of connecting in meeting with people. God knew what he was doing, as he always does, when He told us we needed to keep getting together and meeting with each other. Its good for us. 

It helps us to be able to care for one another. When you see people and talk to them, you are, obviously, better able to care for them. I know you can always meet with people for lunch or coffee, at play dates or chat with them over the phone, but sometimes sundays seem to be the only time we can connect with people. And it makes us connect with people we wouldn’t normally talk too. It makes us widen our gaze and our circle of people. And thats a good thing.

And most importantly, Its not about me.

And it never was.

When I start thinking I just feel.. And I don’t like.. I makes it all about me. And its not. At all. I become selfish and prideful when I make me thoughts and feelings more then that of God’s.

I go on sunday, not because I think I’m perfect, but because I’m NOT.

I don’t go to remember myself and MY good works. I go to remember Jesus, and HIS good works.

And I don’t go to point fingers at people, or make judgements, I go knowing we are ALL sinners. I got to look at MYSELF. Not others. 

I go to lay down myself, again. To lay down my past, my doubts, my demons, my sins.

And I remind myself.. Again and again.. Its about JESUS.

Only &  ALWAYS.  

Its not about me.

Its not even about you.

Its about HIM.

And sometimes, honestly, thats what makes me go on those Sunday’s.

I say  it to myself over and over again..

Its all about him. And its ALL for HIM.

Go on “those” Sunday’s. On the ones your find yourself struggling..

Go humbly. Go quietly. Go tired or down. Just go. However you are. And tell your all. Every doubt and fear, all your struggles and trials. He understands. He knows. And He Will help.

Just get your thoughts off yourself, off the person next to you and think about him. 

 

DSC04797

This beautiful picture is of the moment I committed to a life thats ALL for Him. 

Love,

 

New Little *Some-Sundays* Wife

For when I forget Who’s I am.

Its hard, sometimes, to remember who we are.

No. Im not talking about our names, ages or where we live.

I mean WHO we are.

I know I’m Sharniie. I’m Seth’s wife. Shane & Lyn’s daughter. Im 22 and blonde. I live now in the USA, altho i’ll always be an aussie at heart;)

But sometimes I forget WHO I am.

And there is ONE thing missing from that list..

I have been reading the book of phillipans. I love it. I love the whole bible, so there is SO much encouragement in that little book. I making a little sheet of encouraging verses from it. Ill post it when I’m done if you like.

Anyway. I was going along reading and I came across a “new” verse.

Well. Not NEW new.. That would be a little problem.. Haha.. but like, new as in.. new to me..  I-forgot-about-that-one-new.

Its 3v12.

Not that I have already obtained this, or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. 

And I just stopped and thought about that.

WOW.

That the Savior of the world, the King of creation, the SON OF GOD, would make me, little old me, HIS.

That’s Big.

And that makes me want to keep going.

Like Paul says, I press on to make it.

I wanna keep going.

I going to try and try and try…

Cause I am his..

And He is cheering me on.

He’s watching snd helping me to keep at it.

I hope I make him proud.

No. I’m GOING to make Him proud.

So for the times you don’t know who you are. Remember.

You are HIS. 

Love,

New Little *I-Am-His* Wife

 

 

 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me…

John 10v14.

The Question Jesus Asks Us…

I was reading my favorite book the other day, And I noticed a note in my margin next to one of the verses.

It said Do I?

I was a little confused until I read what I had actually done.

The verse was John 21v15. And it goes like this..

“So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus asks Simon Peter ” Simon, Son of John, Do you Love me more than these? He said. Yes Lord, You Know I love you! He said to him “Feed My lambs”

But I had changed it up a little, So It went like this..

Jesus asks Shoshannah, ” Sharniie, Do you Love me more than these? And She said. Yes Lord, You Know I love you! 

See, THIS, right there, In that little verse is the question our King asks us.

DO YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN THESE? 

And He dosent just ask it once.. He asked THREE times. Three.

Now I know that this relates to Jesus’ death and Peter’s denial and many other things like that, but lets just strip it down.

Jesus is asking Us, EVERYONE of us, If we love him more than these?

More than anything.
More than our cars, our jobs, our house.
More than our children, our husbands, our family.
More than all our idols.

More than our lives.

Whats our answer? What do we say? Do we? Do we SHOW HIM? 

I love Peter. I do. I LOVE his Love for Jesus. His enthusiasm. And He just lays it out.

Oh Lord! Of course I do! You know that Jesus!

And every time Jesus asks, Peter responds with Yes Lord! YES!

And then Jesus says; Follow Me.

See, Jesus asks us not only to Love Him. And Love Him more than ALL else. He asks us to trust Him. Above anyone else.

And to Follow Him.

Even when its hard, Even when its tough, even when it seems crazy.

He asks us again and again if we love Him.

And He asks again and again to follow Him.

And Peter Did.

Till the end.

Gosh, I SO want to be there to see Jesus, In all His glory, Welcome Peter into Eternity.

To see the look on Peters face when he sees what he followed Jesus too. 

May we always say YES LORD.

And may we follow Him into Eternity.

Love,

New Little *YES-LORD* Wife

 

 

The most precious gift.

Merry Christmas to all!
I hope you all have had a merry christmas surrounded by family, friends and good food! It’s such a beautiful season isn’t it!

 As we were eating christmas lunch surrounded by family, I thought about all the things I have to be thankful for:

  • For amazing family and friends, wherever in the world they are.
  • For plenty of delicious food
  • For health and happiness, whatever form that takes
  • For being able to visit with old friends and make new ones along the way.
  • For our beautiful addition this year, in the form of Elijah, and all the other sweet babies in our family.
  • For the peace to be able to celebrate Christmas and the joy that it brings.
  • For love and laughter and happy memories.

But most of all, the one thing I am, and will be always most thankful for, is that God, in his mercy & love, sent his one & only Son, His most precious gift, to this world.

So that by this tiny little baby, born in a lowly manger, He would make the deaf to hear, raise the dead, make the lame to leap, heal the sick, teach us about love & forgiveness and save us all.

“For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
John 3v16-17

Thank you God, for the most beautiful gift in the world. 

Love,

New Little *Merry-Christmas* Wife