Hi. I’m Sharniie. And Struggle.

This posts is from a talk I gave to some awesome ladies at a ladies night our church had a few months back. I have edited it, and taken out *Majority* of it, cause it’s pretty dang long. If you would like the full, unedited version, email me @ newlittlewife@hotmail.com. I’d be happy to supply it.

For now, read away. Hope it encourages you in some small way today.

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Hi.

My name is Sharniie.

I’m short and loud and I love My God, My Savior Jesus , my Husband, people and tea.

Looking at at my life you may well think that I have it all together. That I have some fairytale you dont.

I’m happily married to an awesome guy, look “healthy”, have a nice little house, friends and always seem to be happy.

 

Here’s the thing you might not know.

There is a lot of stuff I don’t talk about, you don’t know about and that you don’t see.

Stuff that makes me feel guilty, ashamed, scared, and hurt. Stuff i’m afraid to say or admit.

Things like Hurt, grief, body issues, insecurities, a mile long list of health issues, jealousy, depression, doubt, fear, breakups, bad choices, anxiety, marriage struggles,shame, faithless moments and screams at God and honestly, a few too many moments in which I simply didn’t believe He was there at all.

I have felt so alone more days than I want to think about.

I have always struggled with fitting in, finding my place and being the person I am.

I can get anxious easy. I find it hard to trust God with things, and sometimes I just get way to overwhelmed.

A lot of these can come in the same days and weeks, many do.

Here’s the real problem though;

When someone asks me how I’m going, I smile and say good.

I move on past & pretend I don’t struggle.

That I have it all togther, I don’t sin, or rather I dont have any problems.

I don’t say that I cried all day thursday about the choices I made when I was young.

I don’t tell them about the things that one person said a while ago I’m still upset about, or the fact that I am feeling a million miles away from God, and I simply don’t know how to get back.

Can I say something? 

Please, for the love, Let’s stop this madness.

Lay down that mask, because I for one am done pretending.

I want to make it out of this life happy, in one piece, and in the Kingdom of God.

And the only way i’m going to is if I am real.

Super super real. And I want people walking with me that are the same way.

So let’s get real

Let’s talk about the things that matter.

Let’s be open and honest. I dont want to be silent any longer.

You know what? I can almost guarantee that something on that list stood out to you?

Why?

Well because you are struggling too.

I think all of us are. We all have these things, these deep deep down afraid to admit things.

We think we are the only ones, that we have too much baggage, we are too much to handle, or that admitting these things will bring shame and isolation and so we stay silent.

We don’t really realize that, if we all took off our masks together, we would see we aren’t alone, there is freedom and grace.

God’s not stupid guys, There is a big reason He put’s us together, into families and churches and places. He knows we need each other.

And an even bigger thing God  knows *and maybe you need to know too* is this; 

YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH.

You there, with your issues, and your baggages, and you struggles and failings and sins. You are not to much.

I spend way to many minutes thinking that I have to fix this mess. That God COULD NOT POSSIBLY HANDLE  my mud.

I know. I’m stupid.

Cause, you know, a God who made the world, who raises people from the dead, who tells the seas were to go, holds the stars in His hands and breathes things into life..

Well, I’m pretty sure He’s GOT THIS KIDS.

And then sometimes I think that I’m not enough. That somehow I am lacking, God doesn’t need me.

He doesn’t want me, and somehow I’m just too small.

Again, A God who planned, from the very beginning of the world, to set a plan in motion, which ended in His only, perfect Son nailed to a cross, just to win back MY little heart, reminds me that I am not too small.

To think that God looked at this world, and stopped, and thought “This world.. well.. it needs a Sharniie” brings me to a stand still.

 

And He did that.

With each and every one of us.

Please think about this.

Who do you think you are?

Deep down, when you think about you, who do you think you are?

And what makes you.. you?

And then think about who made you, and just dwell in that space for a while.

And when you’re feeling lost, uncertain, too hurt and fragile, too far away, and so so alone.

When your feeling like you have to much baggage, like your too much for anyone, or you’re so so small… 

Go back to that.

And start again.

Who Am I?

Who Made Me?

Who is He?

Who am I to Him?

 

So Hi.

My name is Sharniie. 

I’m short and loud. I love My God, My Savior Jesus, my Husband, people and tea.

I know that God made me. He loves me, forgives me and showers me in Grace.

He is the creator of the universe. He is SO big SO mighty and SO strong. He is Love. He is Grace and HE IS GOOD.

I am His daughter and I am precious to Him. I mean so much to Him that He looked away while His only Son hung on a cross just to save me.

My God wants me in eternity with Him and He works, everyday, to get me there. He loves me, depsite the fact I fail him everyday.

And I pray that when His Son comes, He can stand up and say to me. You have fought the fight, you have kept the faith, you have endured till the end. Come, Live with me forever.
My friend, my fighter, my servant, my faithful sister.
Even So Come.
Love,
New Little *Not-Perfect* Wife

 

 

 

 

 

 

August Challenge; Week Three.

Incase you didn’t know, we are doing an august challenge head here to read about it.

August Challenge

Before I jump, I want to stress again that there is NOTHING wrong with having things, having money or a big house. This is simply an exercise in evaluating the things we have & buy, what we do with our possessions and our wealth. 

So here we go!

Thoughts;

It’s hard. Good and fun, but its been kinda hard. I can’t believe how many times I have to stop myself from buying things. Eekkk. I didn’t know I was THIS bad:/
Anyway, I am learning.

You don’t waste food. When you are trying to keep a low-budget and live simply, food waste isn’t an option. I have discovered new ways to minimize it.

Here are Six;
-Eating left overs for lunch.
-Having a pot luck style dinner
-Freeze fruit not being eaten for smoothies
-Make soup stock with bones and old veggies before they go bad
-Make easy fried rice for dinner to use up anything left over in the veggie bins
-Work out how much you actually really eat. This is key. Work out how much fresh food you ACTUALLY eat, and ONLY buy that much.

De cluttering becomes addictive, an addiction I have apparently picked up. It’s freeing up so much more space and I am becoming happier.

I have more time. Since saying no to things that would lead me to spend money like shopping or heading to coffee shops and being pretty organized in when, where and how often I go out to the store for food, I have more time!
Plus the less stuff you have, the less you clean! Hurrah for that.

I am learning to connect better. Since we aren’t going and doing date nights that involve money, like movies, we do things like beach picnics or walks together, and so, actually spend more time talking and connecting. Plus, having people come over for afternoon tea instead of meeting them out makes it really easy to connect better as there is less noises and business.

Possessions don’t matter; People do. As I was saying last week, it’s people that matter.  Putting time, money and energy into them instead of other things is what this is all about.

While some of you don’t need to do this whole huge challenge to see that, I know I did.

I could plan the best date night in the world, but if I don’t connect or talk to my husband, what good is it? I could have the cleanest house, but if I do it instead of having people over, what benefit?

Minimal doesn’t have to be or look a certain way. I see a lot of people who do this only have black and white. I don’t like that. So i’m not doing it that way. I thought at the start I did, now I realize that it’s about culling & correcting what I need to, rather than a one size fits all. Plus, I love color and brightness;)

Be real. Start slow and be real. Instead of throwing everything out, only have 10 things and moving into a 600 sqf house all in the same week, go slow and be realistic. Purge your closet, sure, but so you just go out and buy more. Have a look at your budget and think about your spending, but maybe not cut your grocery to $10. Ha.

Anyway, we are into the fourth week, and doing well!

If you are joining me in this challenge, how have YOU been doing? Any tips and tricks to share?

Love,

New Little *Simple-Living* Wife

You’re not good at everything.

Kids, lets get one thing straight, I am NOT crafty.

I tried. I really did. I saw it on pintrest and fell in love. It looked so easy (doesn’t it always!) and I knew I had the things I needed on hand.

Six months later and the $5 DIY photo frame with white “stressed looking” wood is still un assembled and in my back shed.

And I felt a little beat up by this.

I dont know why, because building your own photo frame is NOT an essiantal skill in life.

But I did.

Everyone else seemed to be doing all these crafty things in 15 mins with old shoe boxes and I cant even pull together a simple face mask.
Don’t get me started.

I felt a bit like I had failed.

Like everyone is simply better at life than me.

How ridiculous. It’s a Photo frame for crying out.

This lead me, as always, down long winded rabit trail of thoughts. Which I will *Attempt* to surmise for you.

You do you. And leaver her to do her.

Its taken me a while to relise, but there are some things I am just not good at.

And you know what, THAT’S OK.

Why? Well because that’s simply not my gift.

That’s not the way I am made.

See, not EVERYONE has to be brilliant at EVERYTHING.

We all have gifts, talents and skills.

Everyone everywhere seems to think they have to have it all.

We look at “her” life and “her” life, and “her’s” too and we take snippets of everything then blend them into this massive exeptation for ourselves.

We begin to think succeding is being Master chef chefs, crafty DIYers, home cookers, all natural cleaner makers, bullet journaling, veggies growing, homeschooling, gym teaching, make up perfecting, business owning, educated super women with stunning clothes and amazing relationships.

Here is the thing.

That. Up there. Well, its just sounds stressful.

And more to the point, its not going to happen.

Oh sure. We can try. And can strive and tell the world we have it.

But something has GOT to give from that list.

And more often than not it the most important things that go first.

Our faith slips.

Our relationships hit hard times.

Our health gets compromised.

Our homes get neglected.

 

So here you go. This is me. In all my non gift glory.

My name is sharniie.

I am not a runner. I tried once and died.

I am not a DIYER.  I will pay you to paint my house.

I am not a crafter. Target, just take my money already.

I am terrible at handwritting. Its a scrawl people.

Lets not even go there with the whole spelling and gramma thing. Ha.

I am not a graden grower. We all know how THAT turned out.

 

But It’s ok.

I dont HAVE to be those things.

It dosent matter.

I’m happy to let them go.

To many times I see people who can do those things and I think.. “Well I need to be like that. I want to run, make a house from scratch, have an acre garden.”

In order to be a semi good woman I need to accomplish this list of things I simply must do…. without thinking about the fact that maybe thats NOT for me.

Have mercy kids. Really. 

Heres an idea: lets look at people who can do those things and appreacte their talent and skill and NOT feel guilty about our own. 

Lets Give that a go y’all.

This is my friend Rachel. Everyone say hello, and be nice. 

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Rachel has one of the best voices I have ever heard.

Like this girl is amazing at singing. It’s one of her skills.

Earlier this year I sat and listened to her sing at her senior recital.

She was amazing.

All of us and the heavens were in awe of her pipes i-am-not-even-joking.

Now I could have sat there and though all about how  I cant sing like that, because, lets be real, I do not have a good voice. Ha.

I could come away thinking I must practise practise practise until I have that same angelic effect on people. Or I could smile and thank God that he made such beautiful skills.

I could be amazed at her stunning talent and tell her how good she is, all without feeling defeated, some how lacking and guilty of myself.

I do my thing, you do yours, she does hers, and togther we make the world turn.

And just becasuse I am not those thing dosent mean that I cant do anything, am somehow failing or dont have anything to offer.

I have been made, crafted, with talents and skills. God has a reason for these.

He’s got a plan for me and my skills and it just gives Him SO much joy when I use them for Him.

There is nothing wrong with knowing and saying what you are good at. Dont brag or belittle others, but know your strengths and own them. 

My name is Sharniie.

I AM good at talking.

I AM good at organizing events and things.

I AM good at cooking

I AM good at encouraging.

I AM good at being real.

Lets be good at the things we ARE good at, not be pressured into things we “FEEL” like we HAVE to do.

Lets be happy for people that can do the things we cant and be proud of the things we are good at.
Lets stop trying to have it all and focus on the things that really matter.

You do you, She’ll do her, I’ll do me and all together we praise God. 

Amen to that Sisters.

Love,

New Little *Non-crafty* Wife

5 am Festivities.

I am, somewhat begrudgingly, a member of the 5 am club.

I get up with Seth at 5 am.

Actually, let me more accurately rephrase that.

I sit up & stare, then shuffle and grunt down the hallway at this outrageously inappropriate hour.

By the time I drag myself into the kitchen, bleary eyed, disheveled and all, three things will happen as I look at Seth;

  1. I will slowly warm up into a functioning state, and actually help him get ready for work. The reason I am vertical at this ridiculous hour.
  2. I will grunt and stare at him. There will then be a look that passes between us, which is an understanding that I will pause my day here, shuffle back down the hallway and resume it at a more seemly hour.
  3. I will continue with my bleary eyed, half dazed stupor insisting I am fine and can help, while trying to put salt in his coffee.

Some days we get 1.

When I’m sick we get a revised version on 2, in which I shuffle nowhere and grunt the understanding from the bed.

Most days it’s 3.

There are a few things that happen when my brain selects number three in the morning.

I call this 5am festivities.

You never know what you’re going to get.

There was the day I waved my arms around in an effort to describe what I was referring to as “ your sippy cup”. AKA his thermos.

The day I decided we should just sit down and eat berries out of the fridge. At 5am. And make them kiss. Cause we are toddlers. And kissing strawberries are hilarious.

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Or the morning I decided talking was simply too much and could we please communicate via interpretive dance?  Lets just talk about that for a second.  Since when is dance less strenuous than talking?!?! In my 5am brain, this all made sense.

I have done laundry with no washing powder, left several teas all half brewing and sat and stared at my pantry from 15 mins all in the name of 5 am festivities.

Anyway, needless to say it’s a lottery. Everyone has made it out alive.

So far.

And by 7:30 I’m usually up, awake and in a more put together state.

I’m trying to become more of a morning person… but it’s taking its time.

I see all these people taking selfies at 5am and writing beneath them how they have already done their devotions, had their coffee, done their workout and are half way finished with their chore list..

Meanwhile I’m here… Looking like this..

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Cheering I managed to be somewhat clothed and staring at my kettle in the hopes someone will make me something caffeinated.

I do love getting up early to get ahead of the day and try and be somewhat together come lunchtime…

But you know what else I love?

Sleep. 

*Can I get an amen?*

Moving on.

The whole point of this is to see whether others suffer from the same condition. 

Are you a morning person? A night owl? Share your tips, tricks and funniest stories with us. 

Some of us *cough* need it.

#TheStruggleIsReal

Love,

New Little *5-am-Festivities* Wife

The real name reveal!

So earlier this week I posted a post on ten things to know about me..

The first one being that Sharniie is not my real name..

Well that apparently was not as common knowledge as I thought and I received so many emails and comments saying the same thing..

WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR NAME THEN!?

Y’all are sticky beaks.

But I will indulge you, especially since some of those comments sounded threatening. Ha.

My real name is….

Shoshannah.

It’s herbrew and from the Bible and also ridiculously long for someone who can’t spell. See list for more on that. Ha.

You would be right in assuming it was a while before I got that spelled right, all the letters the right way and in a straight line. #LifeAcconplishments

So there ya have it! Where you surprised!?

Love,

New Little *Real-Name* Wife

10 things to know about me.

Hi. Hello. Hey.

So, I thought I would do a 10 things you might not know about me!

Some are kinda quirky, but whatever. Let’s get into it.

1.My real name is not actually Sharniie. Shock. Horror. Yeah. It’s just a nick name I got given when I was super super small, and it stuck. My Dad, however, calls me by my full name, never Sharniie. It’s full name, or smeer. Yeah. I know. Nice.

2.I hate bananas. I have tried my WHOLE life to like them, and I don’t…  Although I may be making progress cause I can tolerate banana bread now. This one is hands down my fav!

3.I’m dyslexic. I can just hear everyone going ahhhhhhh, that’s why the spelling and grammar is so terrible. Yep. That’s why. And yes, I know, the irony has not escaped me that I write a blog and yet can’t spell to save my life. Kinda like that time I worked in a fast food place as a vegan. My life is full of irony.

4.I am a tea lover. If you come to my house, you will find over 50 types. So if you wanna tea party, come on over.

5.I hate caves. Like hate. I have this crazy fear about them. And going caving and crawling through those small spaces and cracks and ehhhhh. It just makes me shiver and go cold.

6.I hardly ever brush my hair. To the shame of my mother, my mother in law and my lovely sister in law who is actually a hair dresser (and silently cries every time she sees my hair). I did in-fact go on my honeymoon and not pack a hair brush, worst bit, I didn’t even notice for 6 days. Wild and free ladies. Wild and free.

7. My ‘one day’ dream is to do a degree in herbal science/naturopathy. I have been wanting to do it since I was 16. And was about to, but love and oceans and marriage kinda got in first. I would love to use it with counseling and run a whole body healing clinic, physical & mental. One day people.

8. I am not athletic. I know many of you might assume being married to the Hunk this would be the case, but it is not in fact true. I could think of better ways to die than running, and I assure you that if I tried to run, I would in fact die. My chosen sport is reading. Haha. I actually do yoga instead.

9. I LOVE tomato paste. Like love. And I always have. Sometimes I just crave it so bad. Many times I have just eaten it straight from the little packet/can thing. I dunno what it is, I could snack on it all day.

10. I have one life goal: The kingdom of God. Everything else- small stuff. This one. Well. That’s the biggest of them all.

So there you have it!

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

Love,

New Little *10-things-about-me* Wife.