Hi. I’m Sharniie. And Struggle.

This posts is from a talk I gave to some awesome ladies at a ladies night our church had a few months back. I have edited it, and taken out *Majority* of it, cause it’s pretty dang long. If you would like the full, unedited version, email me @ newlittlewife@hotmail.com. I’d be happy to supply it.

For now, read away. Hope it encourages you in some small way today.

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Hi.

My name is Sharniie.

I’m short and loud and I love My God, My Savior Jesus , my Husband, people and tea.

Looking at at my life you may well think that I have it all together. That I have some fairytale you dont.

I’m happily married to an awesome guy, look “healthy”, have a nice little house, friends and always seem to be happy.

 

Here’s the thing you might not know.

There is a lot of stuff I don’t talk about, you don’t know about and that you don’t see.

Stuff that makes me feel guilty, ashamed, scared, and hurt. Stuff i’m afraid to say or admit.

Things like Hurt, grief, body issues, insecurities, a mile long list of health issues, jealousy, depression, doubt, fear, breakups, bad choices, anxiety, marriage struggles,shame, faithless moments and screams at God and honestly, a few too many moments in which I simply didn’t believe He was there at all.

I have felt so alone more days than I want to think about.

I have always struggled with fitting in, finding my place and being the person I am.

I can get anxious easy. I find it hard to trust God with things, and sometimes I just get way to overwhelmed.

A lot of these can come in the same days and weeks, many do.

Here’s the real problem though;

When someone asks me how I’m going, I smile and say good.

I move on past & pretend I don’t struggle.

That I have it all togther, I don’t sin, or rather I dont have any problems.

I don’t say that I cried all day thursday about the choices I made when I was young.

I don’t tell them about the things that one person said a while ago I’m still upset about, or the fact that I am feeling a million miles away from God, and I simply don’t know how to get back.

Can I say something? 

Please, for the love, Let’s stop this madness.

Lay down that mask, because I for one am done pretending.

I want to make it out of this life happy, in one piece, and in the Kingdom of God.

And the only way i’m going to is if I am real.

Super super real. And I want people walking with me that are the same way.

So let’s get real

Let’s talk about the things that matter.

Let’s be open and honest. I dont want to be silent any longer.

You know what? I can almost guarantee that something on that list stood out to you?

Why?

Well because you are struggling too.

I think all of us are. We all have these things, these deep deep down afraid to admit things.

We think we are the only ones, that we have too much baggage, we are too much to handle, or that admitting these things will bring shame and isolation and so we stay silent.

We don’t really realize that, if we all took off our masks together, we would see we aren’t alone, there is freedom and grace.

God’s not stupid guys, There is a big reason He put’s us together, into families and churches and places. He knows we need each other.

And an even bigger thing God  knows *and maybe you need to know too* is this; 

YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH.

You there, with your issues, and your baggages, and you struggles and failings and sins. You are not to much.

I spend way to many minutes thinking that I have to fix this mess. That God COULD NOT POSSIBLY HANDLE  my mud.

I know. I’m stupid.

Cause, you know, a God who made the world, who raises people from the dead, who tells the seas were to go, holds the stars in His hands and breathes things into life..

Well, I’m pretty sure He’s GOT THIS KIDS.

And then sometimes I think that I’m not enough. That somehow I am lacking, God doesn’t need me.

He doesn’t want me, and somehow I’m just too small.

Again, A God who planned, from the very beginning of the world, to set a plan in motion, which ended in His only, perfect Son nailed to a cross, just to win back MY little heart, reminds me that I am not too small.

To think that God looked at this world, and stopped, and thought “This world.. well.. it needs a Sharniie” brings me to a stand still.

 

And He did that.

With each and every one of us.

Please think about this.

Who do you think you are?

Deep down, when you think about you, who do you think you are?

And what makes you.. you?

And then think about who made you, and just dwell in that space for a while.

And when you’re feeling lost, uncertain, too hurt and fragile, too far away, and so so alone.

When your feeling like you have to much baggage, like your too much for anyone, or you’re so so small… 

Go back to that.

And start again.

Who Am I?

Who Made Me?

Who is He?

Who am I to Him?

 

So Hi.

My name is Sharniie. 

I’m short and loud. I love My God, My Savior Jesus, my Husband, people and tea.

I know that God made me. He loves me, forgives me and showers me in Grace.

He is the creator of the universe. He is SO big SO mighty and SO strong. He is Love. He is Grace and HE IS GOOD.

I am His daughter and I am precious to Him. I mean so much to Him that He looked away while His only Son hung on a cross just to save me.

My God wants me in eternity with Him and He works, everyday, to get me there. He loves me, depsite the fact I fail him everyday.

And I pray that when His Son comes, He can stand up and say to me. You have fought the fight, you have kept the faith, you have endured till the end. Come, Live with me forever.
My friend, my fighter, my servant, my faithful sister.
Even So Come.
Love,
New Little *Not-Perfect* Wife

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Things I am crushing on right now.

Relac y’all. The hub still is number one on the crush list.

But lately there have been a few things I have just been loving and  I though I might share them, cause spread the love.

Lets kick it off with……

Spagehtti Squash; Please everyone give me all the spagehtti squah ever. I am obessed.  Really.

The cards from Trader Joe’s; These babies have been just stunning. Sometimes they can be hit or miss, but latley they have been oh so pretty. And 99c. Come. On.

Vegan Lasagna; This thing has rocked my world. I am making it weekly. No really. Its amazing, and even SETH loves it. YES. FACT.

Flowers; I have just been picking wild flowers and having them around our house and its been making me so happy.
Truth be told; we are attempting to grow some this summer. I KNOW I KNOW we have a TERRIBLE track record with growing things. #PrayForTheFlowers

BUT I think we got this thing down. I’ll let you know how it all goes.

Toby Mac; Move. I love this song. I just love it. It just reminds me to keep moving on, He’s just not done yet.

Almond Butter: There is this little stall at our farmers markets that sells the most AMAZING almond butter.. It’s a mexcian chocolate one. It is DIVINE.

Summer; It’s my favourite season. I just love it.

Our Local Library; Aren’t they just AMAZING. Just when I thought a place of books couldn’t get any better, I found out they offer Free wifi, cheap printing, a christian book section and more. Ten thousand praise Hands.

De cluttering; I am throwing so much out of my house right now and it feels amazing. I don’t know about you but I am done with having SO.MUCH.STUFF.

David Crowder Band; My victory. I am a david crowder fan and this new song of his is on repeat.

What are you guys just loving at the moment? I would LOVE to know.

Love,

New Little *Crushing* Wife

10 things to know about me.

Hi. Hello. Hey.

So, I thought I would do a 10 things you might not know about me!

Some are kinda quirky, but whatever. Let’s get into it.

1.My real name is not actually Sharniie. Shock. Horror. Yeah. It’s just a nick name I got given when I was super super small, and it stuck. My Dad, however, calls me by my full name, never Sharniie. It’s full name, or smeer. Yeah. I know. Nice.

2.I hate bananas. I have tried my WHOLE life to like them, and I don’t…  Although I may be making progress cause I can tolerate banana bread now. This one is hands down my fav!

3.I’m dyslexic. I can just hear everyone going ahhhhhhh, that’s why the spelling and grammar is so terrible. Yep. That’s why. And yes, I know, the irony has not escaped me that I write a blog and yet can’t spell to save my life. Kinda like that time I worked in a fast food place as a vegan. My life is full of irony.

4.I am a tea lover. If you come to my house, you will find over 50 types. So if you wanna tea party, come on over.

5.I hate caves. Like hate. I have this crazy fear about them. And going caving and crawling through those small spaces and cracks and ehhhhh. It just makes me shiver and go cold.

6.I hardly ever brush my hair. To the shame of my mother, my mother in law and my lovely sister in law who is actually a hair dresser (and silently cries every time she sees my hair). I did in-fact go on my honeymoon and not pack a hair brush, worst bit, I didn’t even notice for 6 days. Wild and free ladies. Wild and free.

7. My ‘one day’ dream is to do a degree in herbal science/naturopathy. I have been wanting to do it since I was 16. And was about to, but love and oceans and marriage kinda got in first. I would love to use it with counseling and run a whole body healing clinic, physical & mental. One day people.

8. I am not athletic. I know many of you might assume being married to the Hunk this would be the case, but it is not in fact true. I could think of better ways to die than running, and I assure you that if I tried to run, I would in fact die. My chosen sport is reading. Haha. I actually do yoga instead.

9. I LOVE tomato paste. Like love. And I always have. Sometimes I just crave it so bad. Many times I have just eaten it straight from the little packet/can thing. I dunno what it is, I could snack on it all day.

10. I have one life goal: The kingdom of God. Everything else- small stuff. This one. Well. That’s the biggest of them all.

So there you have it!

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

Love,

New Little *10-things-about-me* Wife.