Hi. I’m Sharniie. And Struggle.

This posts is from a talk I gave to some awesome ladies at a ladies night our church had a few months back. I have edited it, and taken out *Majority* of it, cause it’s pretty dang long. If you would like the full, unedited version, email me @ newlittlewife@hotmail.com. I’d be happy to supply it.

For now, read away. Hope it encourages you in some small way today.

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Hi.

My name is Sharniie.

I’m short and loud and I love My God, My Savior Jesus , my Husband, people and tea.

Looking at at my life you may well think that I have it all together. That I have some fairytale you dont.

I’m happily married to an awesome guy, look “healthy”, have a nice little house, friends and always seem to be happy.

 

Here’s the thing you might not know.

There is a lot of stuff I don’t talk about, you don’t know about and that you don’t see.

Stuff that makes me feel guilty, ashamed, scared, and hurt. Stuff i’m afraid to say or admit.

Things like Hurt, grief, body issues, insecurities, a mile long list of health issues, jealousy, depression, doubt, fear, breakups, bad choices, anxiety, marriage struggles,shame, faithless moments and screams at God and honestly, a few too many moments in which I simply didn’t believe He was there at all.

I have felt so alone more days than I want to think about.

I have always struggled with fitting in, finding my place and being the person I am.

I can get anxious easy. I find it hard to trust God with things, and sometimes I just get way to overwhelmed.

A lot of these can come in the same days and weeks, many do.

Here’s the real problem though;

When someone asks me how I’m going, I smile and say good.

I move on past & pretend I don’t struggle.

That I have it all togther, I don’t sin, or rather I dont have any problems.

I don’t say that I cried all day thursday about the choices I made when I was young.

I don’t tell them about the things that one person said a while ago I’m still upset about, or the fact that I am feeling a million miles away from God, and I simply don’t know how to get back.

Can I say something? 

Please, for the love, Let’s stop this madness.

Lay down that mask, because I for one am done pretending.

I want to make it out of this life happy, in one piece, and in the Kingdom of God.

And the only way i’m going to is if I am real.

Super super real. And I want people walking with me that are the same way.

So let’s get real

Let’s talk about the things that matter.

Let’s be open and honest. I dont want to be silent any longer.

You know what? I can almost guarantee that something on that list stood out to you?

Why?

Well because you are struggling too.

I think all of us are. We all have these things, these deep deep down afraid to admit things.

We think we are the only ones, that we have too much baggage, we are too much to handle, or that admitting these things will bring shame and isolation and so we stay silent.

We don’t really realize that, if we all took off our masks together, we would see we aren’t alone, there is freedom and grace.

God’s not stupid guys, There is a big reason He put’s us together, into families and churches and places. He knows we need each other.

And an even bigger thing God  knows *and maybe you need to know too* is this; 

YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH.

You there, with your issues, and your baggages, and you struggles and failings and sins. You are not to much.

I spend way to many minutes thinking that I have to fix this mess. That God COULD NOT POSSIBLY HANDLE  my mud.

I know. I’m stupid.

Cause, you know, a God who made the world, who raises people from the dead, who tells the seas were to go, holds the stars in His hands and breathes things into life..

Well, I’m pretty sure He’s GOT THIS KIDS.

And then sometimes I think that I’m not enough. That somehow I am lacking, God doesn’t need me.

He doesn’t want me, and somehow I’m just too small.

Again, A God who planned, from the very beginning of the world, to set a plan in motion, which ended in His only, perfect Son nailed to a cross, just to win back MY little heart, reminds me that I am not too small.

To think that God looked at this world, and stopped, and thought “This world.. well.. it needs a Sharniie” brings me to a stand still.

 

And He did that.

With each and every one of us.

Please think about this.

Who do you think you are?

Deep down, when you think about you, who do you think you are?

And what makes you.. you?

And then think about who made you, and just dwell in that space for a while.

And when you’re feeling lost, uncertain, too hurt and fragile, too far away, and so so alone.

When your feeling like you have to much baggage, like your too much for anyone, or you’re so so small… 

Go back to that.

And start again.

Who Am I?

Who Made Me?

Who is He?

Who am I to Him?

 

So Hi.

My name is Sharniie. 

I’m short and loud. I love My God, My Savior Jesus, my Husband, people and tea.

I know that God made me. He loves me, forgives me and showers me in Grace.

He is the creator of the universe. He is SO big SO mighty and SO strong. He is Love. He is Grace and HE IS GOOD.

I am His daughter and I am precious to Him. I mean so much to Him that He looked away while His only Son hung on a cross just to save me.

My God wants me in eternity with Him and He works, everyday, to get me there. He loves me, depsite the fact I fail him everyday.

And I pray that when His Son comes, He can stand up and say to me. You have fought the fight, you have kept the faith, you have endured till the end. Come, Live with me forever.
My friend, my fighter, my servant, my faithful sister.
Even So Come.
Love,
New Little *Not-Perfect* Wife

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Sunday’s..

Some Sunday’s I don’t want to go to church. Gasp.

Yep. I said it.

And I’m not even talking about the ones where I am sick, have to work or away for some reason.

Im talking about the Sundays that I wake up and think..

Im too tired..

I had a falling out with THAT person and I don’t really want to see them..

I Just don’t really get anything out of it..

I dont really like the person giving the talk today..

I just need space..

Do you ever feel like that? When you just feel like you CANT.

Heres the funny thing.

The sunday’s I go, after having thought like these.. I am ALWAYS glad that I went. I come away feeling better.. Still maybe tired.. And sometimes a little more frazzled.. But better..

There is joy and a “special” kind of connecting in meeting with people. God knew what he was doing, as he always does, when He told us we needed to keep getting together and meeting with each other. Its good for us. 

It helps us to be able to care for one another. When you see people and talk to them, you are, obviously, better able to care for them. I know you can always meet with people for lunch or coffee, at play dates or chat with them over the phone, but sometimes sundays seem to be the only time we can connect with people. And it makes us connect with people we wouldn’t normally talk too. It makes us widen our gaze and our circle of people. And thats a good thing.

And most importantly, Its not about me.

And it never was.

When I start thinking I just feel.. And I don’t like.. I makes it all about me. And its not. At all. I become selfish and prideful when I make me thoughts and feelings more then that of God’s.

I go on sunday, not because I think I’m perfect, but because I’m NOT.

I don’t go to remember myself and MY good works. I go to remember Jesus, and HIS good works.

And I don’t go to point fingers at people, or make judgements, I go knowing we are ALL sinners. I got to look at MYSELF. Not others. 

I go to lay down myself, again. To lay down my past, my doubts, my demons, my sins.

And I remind myself.. Again and again.. Its about JESUS.

Only &  ALWAYS.  

Its not about me.

Its not even about you.

Its about HIM.

And sometimes, honestly, thats what makes me go on those Sunday’s.

I say  it to myself over and over again..

Its all about him. And its ALL for HIM.

Go on “those” Sunday’s. On the ones your find yourself struggling..

Go humbly. Go quietly. Go tired or down. Just go. However you are. And tell your all. Every doubt and fear, all your struggles and trials. He understands. He knows. And He Will help.

Just get your thoughts off yourself, off the person next to you and think about him. 

 

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This beautiful picture is of the moment I committed to a life thats ALL for Him. 

Love,

 

New Little *Some-Sundays* Wife

For when I forget Who’s I am.

Its hard, sometimes, to remember who we are.

No. Im not talking about our names, ages or where we live.

I mean WHO we are.

I know I’m Sharniie. I’m Seth’s wife. Shane & Lyn’s daughter. Im 22 and blonde. I live now in the USA, altho i’ll always be an aussie at heart;)

But sometimes I forget WHO I am.

And there is ONE thing missing from that list..

I have been reading the book of phillipans. I love it. I love the whole bible, so there is SO much encouragement in that little book. I making a little sheet of encouraging verses from it. Ill post it when I’m done if you like.

Anyway. I was going along reading and I came across a “new” verse.

Well. Not NEW new.. That would be a little problem.. Haha.. but like, new as in.. new to me..  I-forgot-about-that-one-new.

Its 3v12.

Not that I have already obtained this, or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. 

And I just stopped and thought about that.

WOW.

That the Savior of the world, the King of creation, the SON OF GOD, would make me, little old me, HIS.

That’s Big.

And that makes me want to keep going.

Like Paul says, I press on to make it.

I wanna keep going.

I going to try and try and try…

Cause I am his..

And He is cheering me on.

He’s watching snd helping me to keep at it.

I hope I make him proud.

No. I’m GOING to make Him proud.

So for the times you don’t know who you are. Remember.

You are HIS. 

Love,

New Little *I-Am-His* Wife

 

 

 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me…

John 10v14.

Names & Families and the very BEST Grandma.

You get that thought when you get to like numbers 1 & 2 and your reading all those names *and probably butchering the pronunciation* that there is.. a lot.

And kinda wondering what the point is.

Well, maybe this is just me. Ha.

But I realized, all over again, that this IS a family.

All those names, all those people, I am reading about GOD’S family.

About His children. His people. He is writing ALL these names down, as a history, something they can remember.

So they know were they came from. Who they are.

My very precious Grandma passed away last month.

She was… Amazing. No, really. When I think about that proverbs 31 woman, I think of her.

She was the most steadfast, the most beautiful, funniest, faithful woman.

She served and she loved.

Dearly. Faithfully. Beautifully. 

And she raised a family that is such a testimony of her love, her faithfulness, her goodness and grace.

She taught her children so amazingly about all these things. And they, in turn, me about them. And I, one day, hope to instill that same love, grace and faithfulness to mine.

You see, She has effected so many generations.

And she would never think she had.

She would quietly go about her serving, her love, in a soft way, not ever thinking about it.

Yet we saw. And we followed. And she said much more than any words could have.

Its such a blessing to know where you come from, isn’t it.

Its such a grounding thing to know who you are, were you come from. Who your family was, and what they did.

Proverbs is so right when it says that “Her children will rise up and call her blessed..” And we do, Grandma.

I have been so lucky to know her. To have her teach me.

And I look forward to talking with her more, very soon.

And Im happy. Really.

Because I know her very next moment will be spent with the King she lived and loved to served, so wonderfully, so beautifully.

And she will be happy.

And she will be blessed.

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Next time you read those passages, put your family in there. And instead of reading them going into the land, read them going into the Kingdom of God.

“And from the family of Mansfield.. Dick & Edith. With their 4 children and their grandchildren and their great grandchildren also.. All these entered into the promised land…”

Love,

New Little *Grandma-Loving* Wife

Why?

Yesterday was the roughest day I have had in a long long time. Bad news upon bad news had me down, out and crying for a long long time.

Some days are fragile.

Plans get broken, dreams are made and fail just as quickly, and we are turned around more times than we can even think..

And at the end of it, we have no idea whats happening and where we are going.

And I was.. Mad. I was angry. I was annoyed. And broken. Upset. Stressed. Sad.

I was lost.

I didn’t have any answers for the questions I was asking.

And my only prayer to heaven was why God?

WHY?

Because, sometimes, it hurts.

It hurts to know God can heal this. And fix that.

To know He can change the outcome of this. And to help us with that.

It hurts to not understand.

Sometime we cry out to Heaven and all we seem to get is silence. Sometimes we plea. We bargain. We make trades.

And still we get silence.

And still we get No’s.

And the pain gets more real. And the tears keep coming.

And the questions lay un answered. And the meaning still unknown.

But this morning I woke up. And I realised some things;

The first being this;

It hurts God TOO.

It hurts Him to see us like this. He cries when you are crying. He hears your pleas, and He listens to your cries.

And His heart breaks.

He Knows.

And He cares.

Second; He knows what he is doing.  He HAS a plan.

And it is worth FAR more than the pain we feel now.

Oh we don’t see it, and we have no idea what that plan is. And when our world is in turmoil, we struggle to hold on, but HE has one.

And it’s better than ours.

Its better than those dreams that got crushed. Its better than those plans WE made that got changed yet again. Its better.

And He promises its worth it. He never says its easy. Or pain free. Its never straight forward. And its painful. And unknown.
But its worth it.

Third; Sometimes Heaven’s answers is Just Hold On.

Its coming. HE is coming.

Its almost liked He leans down and whispers softly, like that still small voice…

Just hold on.

I know it hurts. I know its hard. I know what your feeling. Just hold on. 

I promise you it is ALL worth it.  I promise you, at the end of the day, in the light of eternity, It is worth it.

Trust me.

Four; He never leaves me. He will never forsake me. I am never so low, so far gone, that He cannot help me.

And he will. And he IS.

Even when He seems silent. He is there

Even when I feel lost. He is there.

Even when it seems He has stopped working in my life. He is going at it overtime.

Even when it seems like He is giving me bad after bad. He is working it all out for my good.

Even when I feel like I have no where to go. He is there.

And His arms are always open.

 

He is there. He knows. He hears. He cares.

Love,

New Little * Why?* Wife

Thoughts of Thankfulness

*So, last month, I shared my confession of the LOVE I have for Dollar Stores. And I said I had got a little journal from there for my Thoughts of Thankfulness Journal. Today, Im going to explain what this is!*

So, I have started a journal, called Thoughts of Thankfulness. It is just what it sounds, a journal filled with things I’m thankful for!
I try to, each day, sit down at the end of the day, and write down 4 things I am thankful for. Sometimes its simple things, and something I have very specific things on my mind. It is SO good and humbling to sit down and spend a few minutes thinking of ALL the good things God has blessed you with. Just makes ya wanna praise HIM!

After, I write down things/people/events that I want to pray for, that night. And I try to, again, choose 4. This can be anything, big or small. Sometimes I have very simple things, and sometimes there is some pretty big stuff on my heart! It helps in a few ways:

One: think about things/others before you pray so you can make sure to pray about more than just you, or the same things.

Two: date it and see what was answered and what was going on in your life in that period.

Three: help you to keep a regular prayer life. If you have a set time, routine of doing these, it help make sure you are praying!

Four: by thinking about it for a few minutes, and spending a set amount of time thinking and thanking God, helps us to keep focused and helps us destress, keep humble and keep it simple. Knowing that you have given it over to the one Person who can DO something is jus so freeing and peaceful!

After I have thought about and written out my thankfulness thought and prayer list, I pray. And tell God, first of all what I am thankful for and how amazing HE, and only HE, is. And then pray about my prayer points.

I try to spend a few minutes each night doing this little routine. And I have found it just SO beautiful. Even though its simple, its so amazing.

My little journal is not super pretty, or super complicated. But it works. And Im ALL for simplicity. It looks like this.

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I invite you to join me and try this! You’ll love it.

If anyone already is doing something like this, comment and let us all know what your doing, when and how it going! Plus any tips you have! I would love to hear from you!! 

Love,

New Little *Thoughts-of-Thankfulness* Wife

#ThoughtsOfThankfulness

Weary.

Weary. Its a funny word isn’t it. I was thinking about this the other day as I was getting ready for work.

Gosh, Im just SO weary, I thought.

And, truthfully I was. We had had a hectic time with events going on, and people over, and new jobs and house things. And there had been not much time for anything really. Thats life, really.
And sometimes, in life, it can feel like we are the ONLY one doing anything. What I mean is that sometimes, it can seem like we are the only ones putting effort into work, or the church, or youth group, or taking care of people.

Sometimes, we are Elijah, telling God that ONLY we are left here. ONLY we are doing anything.
And, we grow weary. We get tired of putting in effort, when it seems like no one else is. We get frustrated and down. And it gets hard.

I thought more about this, as I walked to work. And began to grow.. tired. Weary. Down. Ever feel like that? When it just comes over you? All those crazy days, those many activities you volunteered to do and the day to day craziness all just catch up. And you just breathe out a massive, calming down breath. Well, It had me like that. These crazy thoughts of mine.

That is, until I sung a song. A song from when I was about five. It says this..

“Let us know grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we don’t lose heart.”

Its a vese. And its found in Galatians 6v9. And while its is simple. Its so SO uplifting. And has an awesome little promise in there that God makes to us. That even though things seem crazy and tough and wearisome.. we WILL reap.. if we don’t give up, if we keep fighting. There WILL be a day were all our “doing good” will be for something. And, while we don’t know when that exact season maybe be in our life, God does and we know it will come. Man, I LOVE Gods promises. There are so many, and sometimes they seems small, but they are there. And they are SO encouraging.

So if your weary, feeling alone or trying to keep going. Dig deep. Sing that verse and remember Gods promise.

In due season, we shall reap…

And, just like in the story of Elijah, you will find “7000” more people that are there to help you, on that same journey.

And, you will also hear that still small Voice, encouraging you on.

Don’t lose heart.

Love,

New Little *Weary* Wife

If you are wondering what song it is, its from a CD we had when I was younger, which is AWESOME. Its called Hide ’em in your heart by Steve Green. They are bible verses sung to songs for kids. Take a look here.

And this is the song. Man. LOVE it.